I'm freaking going crazy. Completely no self control.

I could have done better. I could have just kept my emotions to myself and just shut up.

I really cannot manage my anger when it comes to my family member.

I need to seriously get a hold on myself.
Why am i this kind of person to you?
I mean i know you are just sad and scared, but why?
I look like those that will throw you aside and don't want you when you are old and naggy ?
I'm the one that keep stopping and crying when you all wants to send ah ma and ah gong in to nursing home.
What makes you think I will do that to you?
I know i'm not obedient, i'm not totally filial, but i can guarantee with my life that i won't ever do that.
Shittiest day ever.